[i can’t stop my broken film rolls]

when my mind wins the races you never signed up for
leave my rage to me, and watch
as the government burns eyes into mulch
while friction leads to fire.
tell me about everything i am not
and I’ll tell you everything i am
                  i never asked for an audience.
if you never meant to cradle ashes
how could you dare to grow volcanoes
in your backyard beside
the 206 places i dug out for myself.
   i asked you to leave me to rot in peace
but you left me the core of the apple and
                 i can never recognise myself now
a mere sack of incredulous ceremonies
bound to the weddings of my cruelest emotions
forced to watch
while you walked to the ends of ledges i never touched.